The Hardest Christmas
by sugarcrazedninja
Summary: Raph and Leo are having their anual Christmas eve fight, but this one takes an unexpected turn. Character death involved. r&r please.


Me: this is going to be sad. Warning, character death.

Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT

The hardest Christmas 

"Hey Casey, did you here that?" April called from the kitchen of her apartment. The long haired vigilante nodded and walked over to the window. Before he knew it, the window opened wide, knocking Casey out of the way, and four large turtles jumped through.

"Hey guys, ever heard of a door?" Casey snapped, standing up and brushing some dust off of his leather jacket.

"Um, Casey, if you haven't noticed, the public wouldn't be very thrilled at the site of us." Donatello said with a smile.

"Oh, hey guys, you're here early. I wasn't expecting you for an hour." April said as she walked in the room. She was whipping her hands on a towel and she had flower covering her face.

"Well, we thought we'd come and help out." Leonardo said generously. 

"That's very kind of you Leo. Hey, isn't Splinter with you?" she asked. 

"He's coming later. He's getting some last minute gifts ready." Leo said.

"April, need any help in the kitchen?" Michelangelo said, a mischievous grin spread across his face.

"Not a chance Mikey. Remember last time you tried to help me in the kitchen?" 

Flash back

"Hey, April, where do these dishes go?" Mikey asked. April looked over to the door way. Mikey had several plates in his hands, each made of glass.

"Hey, be careful with those. They were my grandmothers, their very fragile." She said.

"Oh, ok." He said. Mikey spun around so fast that it made April wince; as if afraid he was going to slip and fall. She relaxed for a moment but the sound of glass shattering on the floor came from the kitchen.

"MICHELANGELO!" she screamed. He peered out at her with a nervous smile.

"Heh, heh, sorry." He mumbled. He quickly ducked his head back through the door when April picked up the remote control and threw it at him with all her might.

"I'll get him." Leo said as he stood up from his spot on the couch. He snuck in the kitchen and everyone listened to the sounds of Leo tackling Mikey and wrestling him to the ground.

April walked in and burst out laughing at the site, even if she was furious at Mikey. Leo managed to pin him to the ground and tie his arms and legs together with towels, and managed to tie one over his mouth, too.

"Thanks Leo, but wasn't that a bit much?" she asked.

"Maybe, but knowing Mikey, he'll end up breaking more stuff if he's not tied down." He said with a laugh.

End flash back

"Nope, doesn't ring a bell." Mikey said with a grin. He ignored his brothers laughing at him and went to sit with Casey.

"Do you need any help?" Leo asked. April nodded and led him to the kitchen. Donnie sat next to Mikey and joined in the conversation while Raphael just sat by himself in the corner, looking angry about something.

"Yo Raph, what's wrong?" Casey asked. Raph ignored him and stared at the Christmas tree instead.

"Let him be. He never really liked Christmas." Donnie advised.

"Thanks for the help Leo." April said when they walked back in the room. Leo nodded and sat down. In April's hands was a tray with fresh made cookies piled on.

"Raph, do you want some cookies?" April asked cheerfully. Raph stared at her with an icy expression, but nodded none the less. She walked over and he grabbed one shaped like a gingerbread man. He viscously bit the head off and looked at the tree again, this time more evilly, as if he was trying to burn it down with his stares.

"Are you ok Raph?" April asked in concern. 

"Yeah, I'm fine!" he snapped angrily. April raised her hands in the air as if surrendering.

"What is it with you? Every year you're like this. What is it about Christmas that you hate so much?" Leo asked. He was clearly irritated with his brother.

"Everything! C'mon Leo, even you think some parts ain't necessary!" Raph said angrily. They both jumped out of their seats and walked up to each other, both giving each other death stares.

"Only the part about you bringing down everyone's mood!" Leo yelled. He was on a short fuse that night and wasn't about to let Raph win this fight.

"This whole holiday is pointless! What is it for besides getting useless presents? It's an excuse for people to shop!" Raph screamed. 

"Come on Raph! Christmas is a time to spend with friends and family! It's a break from work!" Leo snapped.

"What work? All we do all day is train! It's so stupid how we work forever on protecting ourselves from the real world when we can't ever go up here!" Raph yelled. His fingers were twitching, as if longing to grab onto his sias, which lucky for Leo, he left them back in the lair.

"You're so stupid sometimes Raph! If you haven't noticed, we're on the surface now!" Leo exclaimed.

"No dur Leo, I know that! You know what I mean though!" Raph bellowed.

"Raph, you moron! All that is why you hate Christmas?" Leo asked loudly.

"The only real reason I hate this stinkin' holiday is because you lecture me! Leo, I hate you!" Raph screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Well Raph, I hate you too, but there's nothing either of us can do about that now is there?" Leo snapped. Donnie, Mikey, Casey and April all stared at him. They have never heard Leo say anything like that before. 

"I know a way. I quit." Raph said harshly. "I quit from the team, and I quit from being your brother." he added quietly. He was mad, yet they all could tell his feelings were hurt. Before any of them could stop him Raph jumped out the window and made his way to the roof. Leo left the room, and went to April's room to sit on her bed. April walked in quietly and she saw him sitting hunched on the floor, leaning against the bed. He looked up at her with a tearstained face. 

"Leo are you ok?" she asked gently, crouching down next to him.

"I didn't mean a word of it. I lost my temper." He mumbled.

"He'll learn that eventually. Don't worry, Raph will come back." She said sympathetically. Leo let out a dry laugh and then a hiccup. April smiled slightly. She sat next to him and gave him a hug to try and comfort him. Leo just sat there.

--------------

Raph jumped from roof to roof silently. If it were possible, steam would be shooting from his ears. He was too angry to even think. He just absentmindedly jumped over the city.

He jumped into an ally way and found himself being pulled back into the shadows. A hand covered his mouth and began to suffocate him

"Hello Raphael-san, we meet again." A familiar voice whispered in his ear. His eyes widened and he tried even harder to break free of their grasp. His leg flung back and knocked their shin, causing them to let go of his mouth. He jumped out of the shadows, and so did his attacker. 

"Karai! What're ya doin' out on Christmas?" Raph said angrily. Karai smirked and took off her foot clan mask, letting her short black hair fall into her face.

"Same reason as you Raphael-san. I do not care for Christmas either. We have more in common then you think, you should join us." Her Japanese accent was thick, if Raph hadn't grown up hearing Japanese he would have had a hard time understanding her.

"Ha! Ya seriously think I'm gonna join you noobs after ya nearly killed me an' my bro's over the past year?" Raph asked with a fake laugh. Karai pulled out her katana and lowered it to the floor, not preparing to fight as he thought she would. A smirk grew on her face.

"What brothers?" she asked. Raph was stunned. 

"H…how did you know…?" he asked. Karai didn't answer. Her smirk grew into an evil grin before she finally did.

"You and your brothers have very interesting fights Raphael-san. If you wish to know, my foot ninja have been tracking you, and I have heard every word of you're last conversation." She informed.

"Man, you need to get a life. Why have you been so obsessed wit' us since the Shredder died." Raph snarled.

"My father's legacy was great. But I need to restore the foot clan's honor no matter what." She said, raising her sword. Raph's hands flew to his belt, but then remembered he left his weapons at home. 

"You may either avoid the pain of death by joining us, or you will taste the cold steal of my katana." Karai said harshly. 

"HELL NO! I'LL NEVER JOIN YOU!" Raph yelled at the top of his lungs. He charged at her, weapons or no weapons. She raised her sword and ran at him. A defining scream filled the air. 

-----------------

"Leonardo, stop worrying. Raphael will be back." Splinter said, watching his son pace around in circles. Leo stopped every once in a while to look out the window. It has been around ten minutes since Splinter arrived. Mikey was sitting on the floor, holding his present to his ears and shaking it gently, trying to figure out what was in it. Splinter snuck up behind him and bonked him on the head with his staff.

"Yeow! Master Splinter!" Mikey whined, dropping his present. Splinter began lecturing Mikey on how waiting to open presents is like a lesson on being patient for ninjas.

"Leo, relax. Do you want some more cookies?" April asked. Leo shook his head, but went and sat on the couch. Donnie was sitting next to the television, fixing it to receive a better reception with Casey helping him. Even though every one was doing there own thing, the room had a tense feel to it and every one was anxious to see Raph again.

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Raph ran over the roof tops as fast as he could. The city was dark and the moon was hidden behind the clouds so all you could see of the hurt turtle was his dark outline. Raph had only one thought going through his head.

'Gotta get to April's. Gotta get to safety.' Before he realized it he was on the apartment building next to April's. He could see her window and he could see his brothers. They looked like they were having a great time. He didn't care. He had no choice. He jumped down and didn't even care about opening the window. He crashed right through it and fell onto the floor in a bloody mess. Everyone screamed at the site of him. Leo rushed forward and knelt next to his bloody brother. There wasn't a spot on him that wasn't covered in blood. He was covered in deep gashes and stabbing marks all over. One gash was on top of his head and was still bleeding. Leo rolled him onto his shell and saw the weak smile on his brother's face. Leo looked over at Donnie who then ran over to them. 

"Donnie is he…" Leo whispered.

"No…no he's not. He has a pulse, but it's weak." Donnie said as he removed his fingers from Raph's bloody neck. Leo whipped the blood off of Raph's face and saw that he was pale. So pale he was nearly white.

"Um, Leo…"

"Cant you help him?" Leo asked urgently. Donnie pointed to Raph's chest. Leo looked at it and saw a puncture wound extremely close to his heart. Leo jumped a little when he felt a warm, blood soaked hand grip onto his shoulder and squeezed it hard. He looked down to see Raph smiling slightly.

"Leo…bro…" he mumbled. He closed his eyes and his head flopped to the side, his hand falling limply to the ground.

"Raph! Raph wake up!" Leo screamed, tears spilling from his eyes.

"Donnie!" he cried, looking at him. Donnie was crying and he shook his head.

"Leo, he's dead. He doesn't have a pulse. He lost too much blood. He's gone." Donnie sobbed. His whole body was shaking. Leo cried harder and picked up his dead brother and held him close, refusing to let go of him. Mikey sat and cried silently. Tears rolled down Splinter's face as he watched his oldest son cradling his dead brother. April cried onto Casey's shoulder and he held onto her tight, letting himself cry at the sight. Nobody cried as hard as Leo though. Leo sat there, sobbing into his bloody brother for another half hour, and then gently put him on the ground.

"Would you guys like to spend the night?" April asked quietly after handing Leo a wet towel. Leo nodded as he whipped the blood off of his green skin.

"It's all my fault." He mumbled.

"Leonardo, do not say that! No one could have stopped this from happening." Splinter scolded.

"It is sensei! I yelled at him. I told him I hated him. If I didn't yell, he wouldn't have left. He wouldn't have died!" Leo cried. Splinter didn't say anything. It was a rare moment when Splinter didn't have a story or any words of wisdom to comfort his sons. 

"I have a guest room you can stay in." April said to Splinter. He nodded and let her lead him away. 

That night Splinter slept on the bed in the guest room while Mikey and Donnie slept on the floor in that room, instead of the living room with Leo. Leo wanted to spend the last few hours with Raph before they went to bury him in the morning. He slept on the couch. He cried himself to sleep. 

"Leo…Leo wake up bro." a voice whispered in his ear. Leo opened his eyes but no one was there. He opened his eyes wider and looked at Raph's body. Standing above it was a silver figure. It was transparent and looked like it was made of wisps of smoke. The figure looked at him with a smile.

"Raph…" Leo whispered in awe. He was right. The figure was Raph, but he was clean from blood and he had no cuts or scars.

"Yeah Leo." He said.

"But…but your dead!" Leo exclaimed quietly. Raph nodded.

"Yeah, I am dead. But that's just my body. This is my spirit. I just came back to say something." Raph said. Leo looked at him and saw sparkling tears rolling down his brother's spirit's face.

"I'm sorry bro. I never meant any of this to happen. I never meant a word." He cried. Leo couldn't tell if it was tears of sadness or happiness.

"Raph, I miss you so much, and you just left. I don't hate you, you know that right?" Leo asked, starting to cry also. Raph nodded.

"It was Karai. She's the one who did this. Leo, I miss you too." Raph said. Leo stood up and Raph walked over to him. Raph wrapped his arms around Leo and pulled him in a hug. Leo thought he would be as cold as death, but instead Raph's spirit was warm and comforting. He felt solid, even though you could see through his body.

"Leo, you're always my brother, I hope you know that. I love ya bro." Raph whispered. Leo's body began to shake and he cried into Raph's shoulder. 

"R-Raph…I-I love you t-too." Leo cried. Raph smiled and patted Leo's shell gently.

"Why did you have to go Raph? Why?" Leo asked, his voice shaking. 

"I didn't really have a choice. Karai wanted me to join them. I said no. she came at me. I was defenseless. Leo, do me a few favors before I leave." He said. Leo let go and looked at him. Raph pointed to the tree. Leo understood what he meant. He walked over to it and picked up the gift he was going to give Raph. 

"Open it." Raph said. Leo sat down and unwrapped it. He handed him the gift. Raph grabbed the new pair of sias and smiled. 

"Tomorrow, open my gift first. I hid it in the back. I'll be back every Christmas until you all join me. Just don't go like I did." Raph said with a grin. Leo watched as Raph twirled his new sias in his hands, and as he did the weapons became transparent. 

"See ya next year bro." Raph said. Leo nodded. He couldn't speak. Raph disappeared and Leo began to cry again.

Leo looked into the hallway and saw Splinter leaning against the wall, silent tears rolling down his cheeks into a wet smile. Their sensei walked over and sat next to Leo. He hugged his son and held him close.

"My son, Raphael has gone to a better place. He will be happy there. And his promise is true. He will come back." Splinter said. 

"Wasn't he happy here?" Leo asked, his voice shaking again.

"He was, my son; you of all people should know that." Splinter said in a soothing voice. Leo nodded and when Splinter left the room he stood up again. He walked to the tree and grabbed his present from Raph. He couldn't wait. He sat down and opened it.

Inside was a journal with a note inside. It read:

_Merry Christmas bro. I know it may look like I don't like this holiday, but I don't want you to not have a good day. Fill this journal with whatever you like. I only got you this because I know how creative you can be. Fill this journal every day, starting now if you want. _

Leo cried even harder, mostly out of happiness. He dug around in one of April's drawers and once he found a pen he began to write. He described the terror and horror he felt when he found out Raph was dead, and the happiness he felt when he got to talk to Raph one more time. 

---------------------------

Raph was true to his promise. Year after year he came back to see Leo. The only time Mikey and Don has ever seen Raph's ghost was fifteen years after he died. Raph was still fifteen when they saw him. They thought they were dreaming at first, but then realized he really was there; only after Raph smacked Mikey playfully on the back of his head. Raph did come back every year until the others have gone, just like he promised.

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Me: see. I even cried, and I wrote it! I don't know why I killed him when he's my favorite character.


End file.
